SUNDAY:
Today I was thinking about how the scale has NOT moved much and I am okay with it. YES it sucks, but at the same time I have already come so far, that I am not worried. I will get to where I wanna go...where ever that is. I will meet and pass my goals. When you think about it, the reality is I never thought I would be where I am now, having lost what I have, feeling as good as I do, and motivated to do more.
I mean, really when I think of where I was a year ago, and how I felt deep inside about myself, and how wonderfully proud I am now, it makes me smile. A time where I don't see chips in my life, bread or crabs...who would of thought it. If someone had told me I would be so in tune with my body, and know what I need instead of want I would of laughed at them well I grab another slice of pizza.
MONDAY:
I have a love hate relationship with my sleeve.
Never before have I been so dedicated to something, to following through on something and to make sure I am confident in this process. However I am up-chucking daily after each meal, and it is so unpleasant. People from the support group suggest that this gets easier, that your will get used to the puking, and at some point will take comfort in it. They say you know your sleeve is working, and it will feel good to puke. ARE YOU FRICKEN KIDDING ME. This is the norm????
WTF?
I don't want this to be normal, I don't want to be okay with getting sick, and I sure don't want this to be my new path. I have tried everything, eating 1oz instead of 2-3oz, switching back to liquids, adding and decreasing foods, liquids etc. I cant win. I love my sleeve that it is working. And I know I'm doing okay, but its also jaded by worry that I'm not getting enough in or going to get dehydrated. I love Chris so much and I love him even more as each time I run to the bathroom, he is there rubbing my back. Saying encouraging things to me and reminding me of the process and what this is for. My future, and that I knew what I was doing. Small price to pay for health...etc etc etc.
TUESDAY:
WEDNESDAY:
I found fiber vitamins which have been very helpful and started to get stuff moving again. I know lot of information but remember I am being open so that others can learn from the trails and errors we go through. The things that people don't share are a lot of times the things people fear most about these type of surgeries. So again, here is what I am currently taking for my daily vitamins:
Chewable Omega 3
Chewable Vitamin C
Chewable Multivitamin
Chewable Vitamin D with Calcium
Chewable Fiber
Chewable and or Liquid form Vitamin B
(liquid if I make a shake / chewable is I have a premade shake)
Biotin
* I am still taking the prescribed antacid from my surgeon. Not sure how long I continue to take this but will find out.
STAGE: SOFT-SOLID: I have started to eat/try a few different things which is so good. I am getting so sick of the regular foods. Here are some things I have been eating now (5 weeks out)
-Ham (they have pre portioned ones at Costco which last for 2-3 servings (2.5oz)
-Cheese - I eat lots of cheese (pre portioned variety of kinds from Costco)
-Premier protein shakes
-Lean Fit Whey protein
-Chicken, Tuna, Ground Beef
-Guacamole, sour cream, refried beans, cottage cheese.
-Soups, broths, chilli,
-Cheese Krisps (Costco) amazing
-Greek Yogurts, SF puddings, SF jello, SF popsicles
*NOT HAPPENING- Eggs (still get sick from them), Mayo and Salsa.
*Tried tomato yesterday and it sat okay, so will venture to try some veggies this week.
THURSDAY:
Went for lunch yesterday with a friend. I find that everything you do right now you just have to be prepared. Don't be afraid to go out to a restaurant or with a friend for coffee just do prep work. I always check the menu out online before venturing out to make sure there is something I can eat, or a food I can ask to have modified. I have not run into an issue as of yet, and the bonus is you get to take most of it home with you after. As soon as you state to the waitress you just had surgery, they are more than accommodating.
I ordered a Grilled Chicken Burger (no bun)
With soup as my side and asked then to package that up right away.
I ate about 1/4 of the chicken breast, cut the rest up and put it into the to go soup (a broth based soup) which I will have today for lunch. Win Win.
The best part of this whole experience is the $$$ you save. Before I never would of thought twice about spending $20 on a meal, but now that $20 goes so much further.
And I don't think about oh gosh will this fill me up, is there gonna be enough food, should I order an appy, should I get the add on salad. Thinking about food so differently. What does my body need...right PROTEIN first. How much Protein do I have left to get in. Its hard from a Pre-Op side of things to really understand how this mental shift will work, as I struggled with it pre-op. I thought there is no way I'm not going to be hungry, what if this doesn't work, how can they (post oppers) not eat what they want to eat, not hungry my ass. But the truth is, you are mentally hungry. I go into a coffee shop with the smell of muffins, and pastries, and I think OMG 1 wouldn't hurt right?!?!?! my belly growls at the thought of Bread, and its hard to walk past the chip aisle, BUT you really have conversations with yourself. You remind yourself you need protein first, that your body wont work without it, that you cant get carbs in and get your requires Protein for the day. You just do it, because that is your job right now. To become a better you. And it does get easier, and you do make better choices each day your training your body to function in the way it is suppose to. The mental hunger will always be there, and it will always trip you up, BUT you really are not hungry anymore. You have gone through the hardest part of your journey getting you belly healthy, having the surgery, eating basically nothing, and now your just don't want to eat. I have to remind myself to eat, I have to set up a schedule each day for how much I am going to get in, make sure I have the foods ready and take constant inventory of what I have left to get in by the end of the day.
FRIDAY:
I use Myfitnesspal.com for tracking.
My daily Focus (trying to achieve) at this point is as follows:
*800 Calories (I am still sitting at approx. 500-600)
*2 liters of liquids (I am @ approx. 1.5 give or take)
*Protein 100g of daily intake (I am sitting at between 90-120)
*Carbs 20g of daily intake (I usually am way under)
(I don't count Vitamins as anything or your carbs would be through the roof)
*Fat 30g of daily intake (good fats like olive oil, avocados)
Other things I measure just for myself is Iron, Calcium & Sugar
I am heading out of town for Easter and I am excited to have some rest, some change and time with my extended family. Packing and prepping for this is a nightmare. SO worried about not packing enough food, or the rights food. Ive got so much prepped but its still makes me nervous, not to mention being about and around foods all weekend. BUT I got this, I can do this and I will have a blast so I must concentrate on that. I cant wait to get out in nature and enjoy the time with people I love xox
HOPPY EASTER everyone!
Stay Tuned ~ Nat
Mind/Body Under Construction
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| This Made me laugh so hard |
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