FEB 19 2016 *HOME*

FEB 19 2016    *HOME*

Its been a few days since I have written, and that's because it has been a whirlwind of activity. Last spoke to you all when I was in Tijuana so have lots to share. Our driver Irene came to the Marriot to pick us up, and e began our Migration North.

The border on the way to Tijuana was just that a border, not really any sense of security happening, as you drove through as if it were a Sunday drive and you were sight seeing. Didn't even stop, so no photo ops. On he way home on the other hand the line ups to get into the USA were crazy, and the people everywhere were nuts and security a definite presence. It was kinda a circus, with a heightened level of authority if that makes sense. There were people knocking on windows trying to get you to buys one last thing on Mexico, there were vender's everywhere, buskers putting on shows for $$, but at the same time, Border security walking around all cars with dogs, big guns, and very serious. Kin of a willy wonka moment for me. Luckily, as Go Light drives people they had special passes to skip line ups, and travel through without much problems.

*WLS Patients: Be ready when you cross: You will need to know the names of all the Meds prescribed for you by Dr. Z, any meds you pick up while there, all shopping keep sakes, and any alcohol or cigarettes you purchase even if the packs are open. I wasn't prepared and this cold cost you time while you rummage to find the meds etc, so I suggest writing it all down on a piece of paper before leaving hotel.


San Diego bound. We found our hotel which was right down town in Little Italy. Let me just remind you that I cant eat, and putting a girl in the middle of her favorite ethnic food if pretty much the worst torture you could do, but I survived. We got settled, and then I needed to get my walking in, and boy did we. We walked all the way down to Seaside Village, checked out the shops (I can neither confirm or deny that I bought a purse, but lets just say I did....Its FABULOUS), all along the water before venturing back to Little Italy for dinner.

Dinner: So I quickly realised I'm not eating for a fat person anymore. The waitress was so nice and adjusted the menu to fit my needs, and the chef made me a Tortilla Soup with all broth, only problem was I ordered a large bowl and it was HUGE. I got down about 6 spoonful's. I also ordered a hot chocolate and managed 2 sips. So complete fail on Sleeve stomach and a waste of money. However I thought wow, a few months ago I would have finished that and had some of Chris's food. Crazy thought. So I packaged up a bit of the broth for later. Mental note, I cant order like that anymore. Although back home I could order that and be set for a week.

We turned in for the night as it was gonna be a long day tomorrow. And it was.
ALARM goes off at 5am, we are at airport by 6am, on flight by 8am.
Seattle Bound. Once we hot Seattle and our flight had changed again, and we found ourselves sitting in the airport for just shy of 4hrs. However, I used this time to get some smoothie in, do some serious walking to get that in, and then just relaxed a bit. It went by rather quickly. Chris had some lunch.

**I gotta say today at the airport with all that food around was the first time I was bothered by the smells and urge to eat. I had a hard time with this. I found myself talking through it though, and kept repeating, I cant be hungry, I have no hunger gland left, its a mental thing, my brain remembers and wants this, my body doesn't need it. Its a struggle, its real, and its so hard when your addiction is surrounding you. There is no escape from food, its going to be part of your life, you just have to cope. You have to realise you now have to eat to survive, feeding your body what it needs and not wants. Its overwhelming, and your brain is a hard thing to turn off. I kept telling myself to be kind to myself, as I was so upset almost for being hungry, and frustrated that I couldn't block it out, but I'm still learning and will be for a long time.

Victoria Bound. I see those North West Islands scattered across the Juan De Fuca Straights and I know I'm home. As we fly in, the sky opens up, the sun is shining and we fly through a rainbow. Sounds like a fairy tale doesn't it, well it was exactly what happened and it was stunning. We land, go through customs, and are greeted not only by my mom, but Laura, Steve and the kids came too which was a huge surprise. It was nice to be home.
We drove the 1ish home and got settled. My dad was there as he stayed with me puppy. OMG it was so good to see her. Once we are settled the first thing my dad says is what's for dinner? Do you want to order Chinese food? I just stared at him. Really?!?! Then I realised just how amazing Chris had been with my eating, with eating with me, supporting me and cheering me on. I also realised that it wasn't just me that had to change, but the people around me. Getting together now cant revolve around food, the rewards cant be related to food, and the time spent together cant involve food (at least until I grasp this change).

I couldn't wait to get into my own bed!

This morning I am feeling great. It was amazing sleeping in my own bed, just me, Chris and Bailey snuggled in between us. It was amazing. I'm quite sore from an injury I sustained before leaving, however surgery wise I am perfect. No pain at all today, except when I eat (drink) but that is to be expected.

*Started taking my Vitamins again today. WLS vitamins:
Zink, Omega 3, Biotin, Vit D w/calcium, Multivitamin, and B12. All in liquid or chewable form, which your new stomach can handle.
*Some do Liquid form, shot form and some do Vitamin Patches.
Just remember if take orally chew chew chew, and it will take a long time to get it all down. I had to do it in two sets this morning as my belly was full after a few vitamins with Protein shake. So note that the eating process if a lot slower. Allow more time in morning to get it all in.


The rest of the day went well for my belly, and I managed to get in almost a liter today which is epic. I feel good. no pain from surgery. I'm really struggling just with my accident pains but surgery no problem.



Stay Tuned~ Nat :)
Body Under Construction

FEB 16 2016 ~ The Marriot, Tiljuana Mexico

FEB 16 2016   ~ The Marriot, Tijuana Mexico

So, I thought I would not write today, but I was also hoping I would sleep in a lot more than I did. I try to get a lot of my writing done while Chris is still asleep. I had an uncomfortable sleep last night, as I think I over did my adventures yesterday and paid for it during my resting stage. Lesson learned. I'm so bad for that, thinking I can do it all still, not good at the patience thing. I know my body still needs a lot of healing and I cant be fooled by moments of feeling okay. Those moments are sneaky...causing me to forget I cant lift a suitcase....dumb ass I am.

You know, September 2014 when I passed out at work, and got diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, I was scared, really scared. I saw my life path as a person dependant on medications to survive, and the more I learned, the more fearful of what can develop because of diabetes. It consumed a lot of my time, over thinking every scenario about what god awful things could happen to me, and how best to prepare myself for when they do. When would I need glasses for sight loss, when will I lose a limp due to the loss of blood flow, when will I have to go on dialysis for kidney failure, and wondering just how much shorter my life span would now be. Its a horrible way to think of live knowing you have something that is debilitating, and will change your whole life.

I am a pretty optimistic person, and I care about people in my life deeply, but I really started to have self doubts about me, about this weight that I was carrying around and although tried to always have a smile on I was falling apart in my head. I was so caught up In the fact that I just began an amazing journey with the man I am suppose to spend my life with and it could be all taken away. I began to get quite depressed and
worried that life isn't working out like I wanted or dreamed it would. Don't get me wrong, I am still a very happy, grateful, amazingly optimistic person, and didn't allow myself to be consumed by dread. I was very aware of how these feeling were creeping in and made myself spend time with friends, and loved ones, kept coffee dates, lunch dates with people in my life as I knew I needed that. I know that I am very lucky to have people in my life that love me unconditionally and it would be a dis-service to me and them not to make myself go out and enjoy those special moments we get to spend together. These moments have really gotten me through the last year, and I am really truly grateful for the people I have surrounded myself with. I don't think of the people close to me a good friends, but as family.

Years of waiting in Canada for this surgery has been daunting, and I kinda got pissed off at the Canadian medical system for making me wait once I was diagnosed. I thought, you know If they had figured a way to have people on shorter waiting lists I never would have been a diabetic, I could have been doing all the things in life I wanted to do years ago, but n the flip side I am realistic and hold myself accountable for that as well. I could of done better, more and gave more to changing what I could to make some of this happen for myself. The other day when Doctor. Zavalza told me that I don't need to take my diabetic meds anymore, and just need to go for a blood test when home to see where I am at, I felt like crying. A weight lifted off my shoulders, all those fears diminished, and I felt a happy glow inside myself that I had not had in so long. Maybe my fate isn't set in stone, maybe those conditions that come along with Diabetes can be wiped off my slate. I'm realistic and know I may still have some work ahead of me to get to this place. I may have to still take a lesser form of my meds, or still have Type 2 of a lesser form, however I am optimistic that I can beat this now, and change the course of my life, and that my friends is pretty remarkable!

Today was another fabulous day. Went back to the hospital to say hi to a few patients, the nurses and staff. Ran into Dr. Z who spent some time chit chatting with us, and then drove us back towards our hotel and dropped us off at a plaza near here. I just love that guy. Always so positive, and so devoted to his patients, and is just a decent human being. Gonna miss him and his wonderful hugs.

Tomorrow we head back to San Diego before a flight early in the morning.
Sweet Dreams my friends xox

Say Tuned~ Nat
Body Under Construction

FEB 16 2016 *Nats FOOD PLAN*

FEB 16 2016  *Nat's FOOD PLAN*

You may be curious about what I am eating, or what I ate before surgery, or what I will eat in the future so I am going to give the step by step of what I am following.

Nats Pre-Pre Op
Now technically Pre-Op starts a few weeks (a month) before your surgery. For me, I knew I had a lot of bad habits and needed a period to start getting rid of those slowly. I am not a cold turkey type personality and that wold have caused me tons of stress to the point I probably would have self sabotaged the process. So 4 month early I started loosly following the pre op diet, but mostly concentrated on getting myself off pop, chips, eating meals instead of unhealthy snacks, making all meals instead of going out, prepping, and started by doing 1 meal as a protein shake, and then a little closer replacing 2 meals with shakes and veggies, and eventually, by the time the actual Pre Op was to start I was ready. My body wasn't in shock and I was 100% committed, focused and had already seen results so was determined.

Dr. Zavalza's Pre-Op Diet:  (2-3 Weeks before surgery)
Protein Shake / Water
Protein Shake / Water
Green Salad / 3oz Protein / Water
(if needed Greek yogurt)

Dr. Zavalza's Pre-Op Diet:  (3 Days before surgery)
Clear Liquids ONLY
Broths, Water, SF Gatorade
(if needed Greek Yogurt)

Dr. Zavalza's Pre-Op Diet:  (Day of surgery)
Nothing

Dr. Zavalza's Pre-Op Diet:  (Day after surgery)
A few Oz of Water, SF Gatorade, diluted apple juice

Dr. Zavalza's Post-Op Diet---------------------------STAGE 1 (1-3 days after surgery)
Must try to consume 64 oz (2 liters) of fluids a day
Water
Ground Ice
SF Jello
Broths
SF Gatorade

Dr. Zavalza's Post-Op Diet-------------------------STAGE 2 (3-17 days after surgery)
Try to Consume approx. 500 calories
4 oz of Greek Yogurt
Broths
Protein Shakes
Water
Ground Ice
SF Jello
SF Gatorade

Dr. Zavalza's Post-Op Diet-------------------------STAGE 3 (17-30 days after surgery)
Blended or pureed stage. Try to consume 500 calories.
Pureed Tuna
Scrambled eggs
Pureed beans
Cottage cheese
4 oz of Greek Yogurt
Broths
Protein Shakes
Water
Ground Ice
SF Jello
SF Gatorade

Dr. Zavalza's Post-Op Diet-------------------------STAGE 4 (30-60 days after surgery)
Soft Food Stage. Try to consume 500-700 Calories (chew everything at least 20 times)
*All the foods from above.
Salmon
Egg whites
Lentils
Chicken Breast only
Tuna
Beans
Chickpeas
Turkey Breast only

Dr. Zavalza's Post-Op Diet------------------------STAGE 5 (60-120 days after surgery)
You must now try to increase your daily calories. Your stomach is healed enough to start physical activities. Proteins must be 70-100g per day. Try to consume 600-750 calories.
*All the foods from above.
Whole eggs
Dry Cranberries
Raisins
Dates
Strawberries
Raspberries

Dr. Zavalza's Post-Op Diet-------------------------STAGE 6 (4-12 month post op)
Try to consume 700-900 Calories. Your stomach has almost fully healed and you will be able to take larger bites, and consume more, but chew each bit 20 times.
*All the foods from above.
Red Meats (6th month out/start with ground beef)
Apples, bananas, grapes
Asparagus, broccoli, lettuce
Peanuts, almonds, pecans
Cereal, rice

Dr. Zavalza's Post-Op Diet----------------------STAGE 7 (12-24 month after surgery)
Try to consume 900-1200 calories. Your stomach will be fully healed. Increase exercise. Be conscience as this stage is where you could indulge in old bad habits. Hopefully you have been given the tools to make better choices and keep the weight off. Protein Protein Protein. No to little Carbs.
*All the foods from above.
Alcohol
All meats (Proteins)
Cheeses
Fruits & Nuts
Veggies

AVOID:
Eating Fast
Using a straw (no air in new stomach)
Carbonated Drinks
Caffeine
Much Alcohol
Talking while eating (no air in new stomach)
Drinking with meals (eat only, then 1.2hr later drink only...repeat)
Skipping Meals
Filling your plate
Red Meat until 6 months

NEW HABITS:
Chew 20-30 times per mouthful
Use small plate, utensils (childrens)
Weigh your portions until comfortable with amounts
Track your food, weight loss, and inches
Prep your own foods
Rest your body. You will be tired the 1st year. Rest a lot.
Make plans, organize shopping lists.

Reminder: Protein first: 70-120g of protein a day

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Is it worth that craving?!?!? Not so much!

 

Stayed Tuned~ Nat
Body Under Construction

FEB 15 2016 Marriot Hotel Tijuana, Mexico (FYI: Graphic details)

FEB 15 2016  Marriot Hotel Tijuana, Mexico (FYI: Graphic details)

Last night we went to the lobby to meet another couple from the Support group I am on who flew in yesterday which was a lot of fun. A few other WLS patients also joined us and before long we had quite a group of people all comparing surgeries, Doctors, husbands chatting, board game playing, chit chating good time. It is a pretty remarkable experience. We have met so many people from all over the place coming here to do surgery. Lots from Canada and USA, but also Germany, Italy, South America, and a few others. All with their own stories, and each with their own circumstances. A great deal of people are here on "Vacation" where the people at home do not know. They are ashamed of themselves, or worry about reactions from others, and hearing the sadness in some of their stories just makes me reflect on how happy I am with my decision to be transparent about the whole procedure. I feel bad that there are people out there that feel they don't have that kind of love and support and yet so grateful to the people in my life that love me regardless of who I am or the choices I make. So I have befriended a few and told them I could be their support if they needed it. But others are much the same as me, and have been completely open or 'sort of' open about it which is cool as well.

I ACTUALLY SLEPT LAST NIGHT!
I must have got at least 3-4 hrs in a row at one point and am thrilled, would I love more absolutely but I'll take it. I feel like a brand new person today. So far most of the pain is gone, and I don't feel as much gas which is awesome. Hopefully I can get some more liquids into me today. Today our Co-ordinator is taking us on a tour at 1:30pm, so I am so excited for that. I have yet to really see anything except from windows. Will keep you updated!

So the only real pain I had all day was when eating which is pretty awesome. I started to bruise today, and the most annoying part of this whole thing is the tape residue left over from all the tape. Its impossible to get off so I stick to everything.

We went out with Andrea walking on the main drag, which was a blast. Super amazing lady, and I had a fabulous day with her. We bought beautiful Locally made leather purses, and are purse twins. lol Her and Chris enjoyed some tacos from a local taco cart per say, and I extremely enjoyed my water. It was nice to just be out and about and up from a bed, and nurses and such. Great day. Came back to hotel, and met another couple we met in the hospital for dinner at a authentic Mexican restaurant which was a lot of fun. The Bean broth was AMAZING. One thing I found in this town is they are so accustom to people coming here for surgery, that almost everywhere you go you can get a bowl of pre/post op surgery BROTH, and they don't bat an eye when you say you had surgery, and just know not to give you a menu. Anyways a very nice evening and the start to a new great friendship.

This was a very long day for me and I am exhausted and quite sore now, but hope to rest up tonight and get some needed sleep. I got through a lot more of my liquids today which is good, but still working on yesterdays, but Ill get there.

Tomorrow will be a relaxing day before heading back to San Diego Thursday so I may skip the bog tomorrow but we will see.
Sweat dreams all.

Stay Tuned ~ Nat
Body Under Construction

FEB 14 (Happy Heart Day) - 2 days Post Op ******FYI graphic details******

FEB 14 (Happy Heart Day) - 2 days Post Op

So I had a rough start to last night, and did several hours of walking to calm the gas down. One of my floor mates from Germany reminded me to take gas ex, which I promptly remembered I had in my bag. Hooked myself up to getting that in my body. This helped dramatically, and I got some sleep. Not much but enough to feel human again.

As I started sipping liquid yesterday I was up several times to go the washroom, although got talked to several times as I wasn't drinking enough...Principles office I go. It is hard though as each sip you take you feel it all the way down, but once it reached your fragile tummy it hurts so much. Kinda makes you not wanna do it.

 

6am:
So today I awoke to my IV being off, which was delightful as much as that IV stick kept me company if I was the only walking the floor, it really was a pain in the ass. Like an obsessed boyfriend always in the way, beeping at you, and almost tripping over him. Kinda glad to see it gone. Now if they would do something with this dreaded drain still attached inside and outside of me. It is really bothersome, painful and kind done with it.

8:30am:
I have done my walking, showered which is heaven, and now just awaiting the drain stuff so I can head back to our hotel. Love it and all, and met great people staff and patients but ready for some alone time in any bed that doesn't start with Hospital.

8:35am
So my luck was short lived and the IV back on due to my low blood sugars...darn it anyways. I thought that sucker was gone for good.

9am:
Dr. Tania comes in to speak with me and go over my file, what needs o go to my doctor, what information I need to follow the next few days, and a package for me to take with meds, gauze, antiseptic spray, steri strips and other things to change my wounds for the next week each day. She went over how to do this all, what my belly should look like, and how to ease some of the gas pressure.
Rosa also came in and sat with us for a bit and chatted. We gave her the gift we had for her, and she was so happy. Amazing woman and I will not forget her.

9:30am:
Dr. Tania comes back to.......drum roll please.......take out my drain. The vain of my existence, the worst part of this whole journey and the reason Temporarily became a boy with this dangling ball flopping all over the place as I walked. Picture to follow.
Anyways back to the removal. First she prepped the whole stomach and took out all my staples for my 4 small wounds which was pretty cool to watch and see my wounds for the first time. Then came the Drain. So Dr. Z uses a drain as a tool to make sure you have no leaks or anything wrong with your belly. Lets go back a few steps, he puts your safety first by a series of leak tests. He preforms one on the operating table, one the next morning, which involves XRays as you drink a clear fluid, and in the afternoon a 2oz blue solution that he can check in your drain if there is any issues once your liquid stage begins. Back to the drain. The drain gets heavy, which pulls on your stomach where it is put in and gets emptied several times a day. This just holds all the liquid and blood mixtures that your stomach would have in it from the surgery. Reminder, your stomach was cut open and put back together. It too has fluids, and the drain is a way for the nurses and Doctors to make sure the liquids come out are the right ones.
So getting this removed is a big deal. I hate that drain ball of pain. Its like a messed up torcher device. It goes in pretty far which is why you are in so much discomfort with it in. So you take a deep breath and she slowly pulls it out.
***Take a deeper breath than expected. My bad, and I was out of air before she finished.. take a few seconds to get it all out, but the relief of it gone in instant.
Dr. Tania then explained how to now care for this hole in the side of your stomach and I was all good. She also gave me the updates Go Light eating plan and diet so I could follow along and know at what points in the next 6-12 month I could add what foods.
By the looks of things, gonna be hungry for a long time. SO those that know me get used to my stomach noises cause they are loud and hilarious.
10:00am
Rosa comes in and tells us our ride has arrived, however one problem I showed her my arm...still attached to my IV. She said oh no, and a bunch of words in Spanish as she went running down the hall way. Within seconds a nurse came in and let me free, an we were good to go. Poor Chris having to carry everything. You can NOT lift over 2.5 lbs for quite some time. All the other patients came to say good bye and the nurses and staff came round on our way to elevator to see us off and say good bye.

We got back tour hotel and got settled. Its Valentines Day, and boy do the Mexicans love their Valentines. The place was packed, with locals going for lunch, checking in, hanging out, everyone was wearing red, pink or white, all gals had roses, chocolate or teddy bears. Like everyone. We looked so out of place walking in like hobo's off the street who just spent day in the hospital. Anyways was kinda nice to see. I don't celebrate Valentines Day but was really nice to see the local traditions and how the people here really loved there day. They were extremely touchy feeling, kissing and hugging and it was nice to see. I told Chris to take a look around for some tips. lol
Our co-ordinator Andrea came to greet us returning and went over a few more things with us, brought me some protein drink power and apple juice which is super helpful. She spent some time with us before heading to meet another client. We ordered lunch to room service, Chris had a burger and I had .....drum roll....surprise.....broth. I must say everyone on Dr. Z support group was right on the nose as far as how good the broth is here. I got to get to the bottom of this recipe. I finally pegged down the taste. You know the smell of a buttermilk biscuit coming out of the oven. That is how this broth tastes. I'm in Love.

****One thing I find is I am extremely nervous drinking or sipping. I am so worried about in taking too much at one time, but also not being able to get my 2 liters in and having the onset of dehydrating. It is hard, there are so many rules, don't let air in when drinking, don't drink more than 2oz at a time but in small sips only, drink every 10 minutes, get 2 liters in a day, don't lay down until 30 minutes after drinking, drink, drink, drink. If you sip to much or get more than the space allows you throw up. I know its inevitable, as it is different for each sleeve patient, and your body 'sleeve' will or wont tolerate certain foods anymore, but I really don't wanna throw up. I know I will but I don't want to.

10pm
***Still not where I should be for liquid in take. I can not get more than 2-3 spoon fulls of broth down and probably only have drank approx. a cup of fluids today instead of the 2liters, but hoping tomorrow is better.
***Also just checked my Sugars and they are extremely low. 3.8. So I am going to get down a bit of the jello they brought me so hopefully this will help with that.

Here are a few Photos thus far:

The Famous Dr. Z himself before surgery. Love this guy!

Me leaving for surgery.

My Hospital room. There is a bed beside where Chris is sitting for him.

Rosa doing some laps walking with me. She is the Floor "mom'. Amazing lady.

Me walking the floor all night long. Back and forth getting rid of gas pains.

Stay Tuned~Nat
Body Under Construction

FEB 13 2016 Florence Hospital ****FYI-Graphic Details****

FEB 13 2016  Florence Hospital
****FYI-Graphic Details****

Last night was rough, not gonna lie about it. I was in a lot of pain and the gas was unbearable. My whole upper belly, lower back and into my chest hurt so much. Also surprising to me was how sore the area where the drain is hurt. The nurse says that the biggest part of the drain is inside your belly and could rub up against stuff in there which is why you get the sharp pains. Don't get me wrong, I feel pretty good, and I expected the pain due to my own circumstances, and just to comfort some, a lot of patients I met in the hallway walking during the night are all drugged up and not in any pain. I had a few bouts of severe dry heaving which was so painful as you use your belly muscles when that happens. I coughed up quite a bit of blood which is normal as your stomach will have blood in it from surgery.

Sleep, hmmmmmm will be nice when I get some of that. It quite hard to find a comfortable spot with cords here, drain ball there, beeping noises, and nurses coming in every 1/2hr or so.

I started to feel the constant pain lessen around 8am this morning and believe the long hours of walking down the hallway worked on some of the gas pains. I got to brush my teeth which always makes you feel a little more normal. As I was walking again was told I could now have a shower, and take these horrendous socks off. It was the best shower ever. Got into some normal PJS, bandages changed, and then headed down for the leak test.

Leak Test
For the leak test you go see the same cute older man who did you XRays the day before. He is a doll. You go stand in front of a different XRay machine and drink a small amount of this nasty liquid. The you stop breathing and he takes a series of shots of your belly. Each time he needs the shot, you take a deep breath and don't exhale until he says so. In his broken English I though he said I have a leak and started to panic a bit but then a lady came in and translated. No leak! What a relief.

Then when I came back to my room....FOOD!!!!!!!!!!
Well a 2 ounce cup of water, a 2ounce of apple juice and a 2 ounce cup of Gatorade.
Its quite weird having liquid pass through your body and feeling it go down. When you think about it even in your mothers womb you had stuff in your belly. Mine was completely empty, so outing food back into it, your belly is like what up with this crap. Its funny, you sip, and then you feel it travel down, gurgling, and then once there it hurts. You body trying to cope with all that has happened I suppose.

Saw Dr. Z today, which is always a treat. He chatted with us for a bit, gave me some tips on what do you with my liquids, gave me a great hug, and just reminded me I have the best surgeon ever. Chris and I brought him a gift for Valentines and a thank you, but wont see him tomorrow so gave it to him today. A Canadian package if you will, a bottle of our finest Canadian Whisky (maple flavor), A box of Rogers Chocolate, some local tea and local soap (Rhubarb scented). I sure hope he will like it. We will see him at the hotel before we leave.

My Nauseous comes and goes but is not longer a constant, which is nice. My back and shoulders and neck are killing me still from the car accident, and I still have a head ache.

Walk walk walk, is all I am doing, but trust me it helps so much, and then there is gas ex...amazing. Hoping to get some more sleep tonight.

Stay Tuned~Nat
Body Under Contruction

FEB 12 2016 ******* SURGERY DAY *********

FEB 12 2016 ******* SURGERY DAY *********

First thought of the day is I wish I had slept more.
I think I woke up each hour and looked at the clock.
Nerves are starting to become a reality. Up until now I have been pretty okay and talked myself out or down from anxiety attacks. Its easy to keep yourself calm while having others to talk to, letting them know its all good, and keep a brave face so they are reassured the surgery will be fine. Now though, since last night I am starting to feel a bit nervous. Not at all in Dr.Z abilities, just the fact I am going into surgery today. Any surgery would make me nervous.
Been awake since 4am, just laying there thinking of a million thoughts, glad I did my will, will Chris know what to do it something goes wrong, how excited I am to meet Dr.Z in person, what my life will be like from this point on, how cool it would be if I could reverse my Diabetes and live a long healthy life, what if something goes wrong, what if It all goes right. My busy little brain is overwhelmed.
No wonder I still have a head ache. I was also thinking of how I will really survive the next month on no food. That occupies a lot of my thinking time. I mean can a human survive that long without food and just liquids, clearly its been done by every patient before me, but how weak must that leave a person, how mentally exhausted, and how on earth will it be not to have a hunger gland. I guess the physical part will be taken care of and I must work on my mental brain hunger now. Stop the insanity of thinking I am hungry.

I will try today to take as many pictures as I can to post at a later time (although I have left this task up to Chris, so we will see how that plays out), and try to mentally remember all I do today (before being out) to blog so others can see the stages of what happens.

FIRST STAGE OF DAY:
-No FOOD (lol) or WATER from midnight last night.
-Get up, packed, and in lobby checked out for 7:45am
-Tell the Concierge we need the shuttle to the Florence Hospital.
* (a few bits about surgery in Mexico. They cater so much to medical patients from USA, Canada, and international guests that they have shuttles leaving each morning to all the different medical facilities around town. They are prepared for all 'meal' medical diets in the main dining room. We came in said we needed 'Go Light' meal and they didn't flinch an eye. Sat us down, gave Chris a menu and brought me my broth and water. Last night we were in a regular hotel room, but on the flip side we get moved up to the medical floor of the hotel. They have 2 whole floors for medical patients, and this is at most hotels in the area. I will remind you we are at the Marriot, and it looks like a 5* hotel)
-Once we arrive at the Hospital we will be taken to our private room, where we will be admitted to the hospital. It has a normal extra bed for Chris.

SECOND STAGE:
-Shortly after arriving at hotel we meet the famous Rosa, who did all our checking in. She is like the floor mom, and looks after all your needs while in the hospital.
-The my blood was drawn. took forever as my veins are elusive.
-Then my nurses got my lovely white compression socks on, which I think I rocked. You don't feel as much of  tool when everyone on the floor is wearing the same.
-My IV was started with a Saline drip....first food in days..lol
-The Dr. Z himself came in for a visit, and he is every bit as amazing as I had anticipated. His bed side manner is so good and right from the start treated Chris and I like family, not just a patient. He went over the procedure again, what was to be expected and just chatted about life.
-Then I was taken down for a chest and stomach XRay.
-Once back to room. we waited for go time. I was scheduled for surgery at 11am, but actually went in for 12:30pm, so really not that long of a wait. I was the first one for Dr Z today.
***Must note, that I am allergic to almost all medications, and in Canada have been given these multiple time in error, even with alert bracelet on. Here everywhere I went wither the person administer meds or not was told of my allergies which was very comforting.

THIRD STAGE: Surgery
- One of my nurses and OR team came to get me for the big moment.
-The anesthesiologist talked about my allergies with me in the operating room, and how I was waking up. I let me know I was never good at waking up from being put out and he assured me I would be this time. A treat for me he said. Next thing I knew I was out.
-I awoke back in my room, with Chris staring at me. I had my IV on one side of me and an oxygen tank on the other side. I must tell you that it was indeed a real treat. The first time ever not waking up and throwing up, and being ill. He is my hero. I need to bring him back to Canada.
-Dr. Z had come to talk to Chris and let him know all was good, and I had no complications.
-Chris called and talked to the people who requested calls when I was okay.

FORTH STAGE: Post Op hours
-Walk walk walk, they want you up out of your bed within the hour. Slow and steady. The first time up I made it 10 feet and got sick. Reminder I did this with no meds so my experience may be different that others. The pain was intense for me, and I had a hard time. I was quite nauseous from the get go. Chris has been a rock star, and been so helpful. There are several things I wouldn't be able to do without him here. I highly suggest bringing someone if you have special circumstances. For me not having pain meds, means I am in a lot of pain from and needed him for a lot of things.

Well getting ready to turn in for the night, as I am exhausted, sore and need rest.


Stay Tuned~ Nat
Body under construction

Feb 11 2016 - MEXICO

Feb 11 2016 - MEXICO

Well I barely got an hour sleep last night. I was so anxious, excited and nervous. A flood of emotions going through me and my stomach wouldn't stop making all sorts of random noises all night long. I am sure I kept the whole hotel up. I have a weird sense of calm at the same time. I have waited so long for this time to come. I started this process 7 years ago. 7 whole years, and although the location has changed where the surgery will be preformed, the idea that it is finally here is a bit overwhelming.

The countless hours of research I have put into this, and the chats with Doctors, surgeons, and professionals of all sorts have lead to this moment. My friends and family asking questions or wanting to talk to me about this really has been so helpful.
For so long very few knew about this procedure I wanted, probably a lot of people didn't know why I was doing this, and I am sure there are still people who wont understand my decisions, and I am okay with this. I have to be. Sometimes people just have negative opinions on things they don't understand, and I whole heartedly get it, as I am sure I have as well. But I am also sure if people take the time to ask me any questions they have they will understand it more.

I have to admit for the longest time with my own insecurities I had thought that I wasn't even going to share my story, let people in, tell them wheat I am doing, but somewhere along this long journey I found a confidence about myself. I began early on talking to people in WLS (weight loss surgery) groups online, and feeling comfortable with my choices. Some times it was hard, as a lot of people had bad experiences sharing, where family or friends were upset to the point of disowning them. There has been lots that faced fat shaming, name calling, and even physical abuse. But there were also the stories of people who had so much love and support around them and those stories were uplifting. Some people only told a few people, some only told family, but other say it was like a coming out of the closet moment where they exposed themselves to everyone. At some point I gravitated to that way of thinking, to the point of knowing I wanted to be completely transparent to everyone. The reason is quite simple really, but in tow parts. First I wanted to be able to help anyone else who could be in this spot in their life, showing them that it is okay, and second to live the best authentic life possible. I didn't want to wonder who knew what, what travelled through the grapevines, people being misinformed and really wanted to put it out there the way I wanted, with all the facts.

Once I decided on which procedure I wanted to do, it became hard to find a co-ordinator and doctor, as I am extremely picky but also second guess myself a lot. But I just listened to my gut instincts and followed my heart. Once you begin making these decisions the process becomes a bit overwhelming, as in the supports groups everyone has an opinion, and I appreciate them all, but its a lot of work reading through, gathering your own ideas, and then making decisions, BUT so worth the time invested into it. I have already been given names from Canada of reputable surgeons so I had it narrowed down and then really trusted my own instincts. I made sure I spoke to each of them, interviewing them per-say, and this is what led to my final decision, and I couldn't be happier.


OFF TRACK:
I seemed to of gotten a bit off track. I suppose I am trying to calm myself down a bit, or not think about food, or just reflect on the last 7 years knowing this part of the journey is over. I am as ready as anyone can be for this. I have been working on getting my body prepared for a few months, and I am quite pleased with how I have done. Its here, the moment I have been awaiting for. I am so at peace with it all, and so happy all paths have led me to Dr. Z and his team. They are brilliant, and have really been exceptional every step of the way so far, and I really can not wait to meet them in person.

Well, off to get hubby up, and start making way back to the airport for our driver to come pick us up and take us to Mexico.

MEXICO:
Go Light is the Co-ordinator group I chose to go with. They handle all travel arrangements for Dr. Z, hotel, driver, food, hospital admissions etc. So we have previously made arrangements prior to coming, that we would meet at the airport. We were given all information ahead of time as to who would be picking us up where, and what to expect so I was thrilled I knew everything ahead of time. So Irene picked us up from the airport to drive us across the boarder. Very nice lady, and super helpful with information. Her and her husband  moved from Arizona 4 years ago down to Tijuana and haven't looked back. For US/Mexico citizens  apparently it is okay to work or live back and forth. Odd considering all the hoopla over immigrants, and border patrols etc. Our car rental guy is born and raised in Mexico and crosses every day to work for the car company, as his brother has US citizenship?!?! Anyways Irene just loves it, makes trips back into the states to pick up patients, and shopping that she can not do in Mexico. They live on the ocean in a condo so she says life is great. She was more like a tour guide as we went along and made us feel completely comfortable. She gave us some water in the car which I was really happy with, as my supply was getting low,

Once we arrived at the Marriot our on site facilitator was there to greet us. So Irene handed us off to Andrea, who brought us in, helped us check in, showed us around a bit, gave us tips and advice, and let us know what go expect over the next couple days. I got apple juice, which I wanted to hug her for. After drinking only water the juice is the best I've ever had. We filled out all the hospital forms, consents, and contracts, and paid the remainder of the balance on the surgery. It was super helpful and I can see if someone wasn't as well travelled how it would put them at ease having someone stay with them while they adjusted. Andrea gave us my surgery time (11am Mexican time), and the process of getting to the hospital and starting the tests etc.
*In the am: you go downstairs to the lobby and let them know you need to go to the Florence Hospital and they get you a shuttle there. Easy peesy.

As for now, we are going to go for a walk, and get Chris some food. Then come back for a swim perhaps.

As for me: I am not nervous at all, more excited at this point and wanna get er done.
****Staying at the MARRIOT. The Walmart plaza is just down the road. If you take a taxi the cost is $3 US Funds each way. Went to pick up some apple juice and water. Great prices. We walked around the plaza for a while, lots of places to eat for your companion.
Gonna go relax and get ready for my big day tomorrow.

*Note: Type 2 Diabetics, Today my sugars have been extremely low, dangerously low. Check with your GP before coming on how to adjust your medications for when this happens. I found yesterday morning taking my meds I was shaking, dizzy, and lightheaded, even with drinking the broths. I took my testing kit everywhere, and my hubby reminded me several times to check #s. In the evening I only took half my meds, and a spoonful of yogurt to up my sugar levels a bit.


Stay Tuned
Nat ~Body under Construction

Feb 10 2016 San Diego ~ START BROTHS

Feb 10 2016 San Diego

Today was another brilliant day.

Winter they said, bring warm clothes they told us, well I'll take this winter any time.
Today reached 40 degrees C.
Forgot to mention, Yesterday we met some nice British guys who were in town for a gold seminar which neither played which we found quite amusing. We had good laughs with them. I miss travelling for that reason. Meeting cool people from places far away, makes me happy.
We also met a gal at out hotel last night, Buena Aires Argentina, who gave us great tips for the zoo that we will use today. Will check back later. My broth is made, water in pack, and ready for the day ahead.

Gonna start by telling the naked truth...today sucked. I mean really sucked, and I am so hungry. I started out well, my sugars were lower than I like them, however I took my meds as per usual which made me feel a bit shaky, dizzy, and light headed, all of which I knew, only before I would make sure to eat, and it would usually balance itself out. However no food was an extreme challenge for me. All I was thinking about was not eating, or smelling every food vender we walked past, and just really feeling myself saying I couldn't do this in my head. Second guessing myself, and almost panicking that I was starving... which is just mentally draining. I had to have several talks with myself, reminding myself what I was here for, how the next year of my life would be, and that no food is worth me dying or getting sick for. Its hard mentally. Esp. at a place that is a tourist attraction, there are hot dogs, and pizza smells, cotton candy, and drinks, burgers, and pretzels...everything you can not eat. Its like a food war zone, and I fixated on it.

So we left the hotel at 8:30am this morning and headed right for the Famous San Diego Zoo, which was brilliant. It was so much fun, and really impressive. Even better than I could have imagined. The exhibits were really thought out, and although a zoo, the animals were taken care of, and the spaces for them to roam were quite thought out. Nothing seemed 'caged' as I sometimes have issues with that. There staff was very knowledgeable, and the volunteers were everywhere sharing facts, and information. I really enjoyed the Panda's, Orangutans, and the Turtles. We were there and walked for approx. 4hrs. We did stop for Chris to get some lunch as I sipped on my broth, dreaming of it being a margarita.

We then headed over to the Balboa Park area where there are several museums. We went to the Natural History, Science, and Museum of man which were all really interesting, but we were so tired. I really enjoyed a 3D film we watched on whales which was amazing.

I spend a lot of time worrying that I'm not doing this right, and I overthink everything. When should I be eating 'drinking', how much, will it all be out of my belly on time, will I succeed at this, how can I do this. The hardest part of this whole thing is changing your mindset. Its not easy, and its not painless. I have been a fat person with a fat mind for a long time. To shut that off is hard and will take time. I know I am ready for this challenge, I know I am able to do it, I can rationalize the way I should be, but your mind mentally blocks you from these thought processes all the time. Knowing the mental part is the hardest, I really try to stay focused on eating what my body needs, not what it craves or wants. Food is suppose to sustain life, not end it. I think of animals and how they haven't evolved into making fast food, or chemical foods, and I am an animal. I need food to sustain life, and have to change that way of thinking. Food for me can no longer be a pleasure, or  what I want.

I know I have said before how grateful I am for the people in my life, and I am. My friends and family have come through 100% for me, and I am extremely lucky to have their love and support. But Chris has been a dream come true. I never in a million years thought he would know how to support me, or know what was right for me, and unknowingly be insensitive to my emotions. But this couldn't be further from the truth. He has been my rock, and I know how hard it must be for him. He is now segregated to eating outside so I don't smell the food, and has been drinking protein shakes with me along the way, and reminds me constantly to have water etc. I couldn't have asked for a better husband, and life partner than him, and I am so grateful he is here with me. He really does calm me, and look out for me.

I will be making it a very early night. I think if I sleep it wont feel so bad. Maybe I'll dream of a healthier me, instead of carbs.
Tomorrow is a big day....Heading to Mexico.


Stay Tuned
Nat ~Body under Construction

Feb 9 2016 San Diego

Feb 9 2016 San Diego

Today was brilliant.
I am so glad we decided to come for a few days R&R first.
I am finding it really keeps my mind distracted and also doesn't make me feel as hungry as it is so warm here, you just wanna drink water anyways.

1/2 hour of walking - check....done x lots today.
Protein shake for breaky, protein for lunch and I just ordered some chicken.
TOMORROW, I start Liquids. Clear broths, water, and I am ready.

Today we got up and headed down town to go Whale Watching, and saw Grey whales and tons on Dolphins. It was amazing, and we loved every minute of it. I will post photos when I get home.

Then we headed to the Safari, where we walked for hours. It too was a lot of fun, but so many hills, and I really noticed how tired I was. I drank a lot of liquid today but wasn't even hungry...liking that

We got home (hotel), and had a swim (more exercise), and now winding down for the night before we get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

*Cant wait to step on scale and see how much more I have lost.

Stay Tuned
Nat ~Body under Construction

Feb 8 2016 San Diego

Feb 8 2016 San Diego

Well, we arrived.
What a day! I gotta say it wold of gone flawless had I not been in a car accident a few days before I left, but that being said It was an extremely uncomfortable flight. I gotta say a few things that really helped me (Tips for those going).

Tip:
~I did make it threw both check points Canada and US with my larger than allowable Premier Protein Shake. In both cases advised them it was for medical and all I was allowed o drink for the day and no problem. Well, if you consider having to clear a drug screening at both points no problem, but so minor and I got my food for the day on board! YAY.
~Dr. Scholls compression socks are awesome. I wore mine on the plane and my feet never felt so good. An absolute must for travel.
~As much as it pains me. Travel light. After seeing our lay over and how many tunnels, trains and amount of walking we did, I had wished me packed lighter....okay not we....me. I'm already dreading the flight home after surgery. Me with upper body and shoulder injuries....it really sucks.
~Lay over food. Lets just say there is nothing available for the diet we are on. I did find a green salad with Chicken on it,  but after paying $9.50 us $ for it, found it to be soggy and the chicken (protein) slimy. Un-impressed. Threw away. Thank goodness I got my shake on.
~Alaskan air is pretty up there for me as far as who I would fly with. They were amazing, accommodating and very good at their jobs. I fly a lot and this is my first with them, and wouldn't hesitate in the future to book directly from them. Were very considerate regarding my surgery needs.

Well, as per usual I had grand plans for our day today, but alas I need to put myself first, which is extremely hard to do. With the amount of pain I am in, there is no way I can do the amount of thing I intended, so we worked out a new plan. We are going to get up soon....meaning Chris (as I have not slept much), and head to Old Town San Diego for a bit, then as it is supposed to be quite warm (for us/locals are freezing) 24-26 degrees C, we will lounge by the pool. They have a 24hr hot tub here which will be great for my aching muscles and shoulders later which is great. We may venture out later to the Gas Lam district if I am less sore.

So venturing out anywhere did not happen. I am completely bagged and in so much pain. We Came in from pool, a weeeeee bit redder than when we went out (totally cool with that), the relaxation has taken over my body...however just down the street there is a mall. hmmmmmmmm I may be well enough for a stroll through there....Gotta get more walking in today right?!?! Sounds like a fabulous idea. But as for sight seeing...today unfortunately is a wash. Tomorrow we are up bright and early for whale watching so that is exciting.

Something about warm weather makes the worse moments feel a bit better. I am sore from Car crash but the warmth on my skin feel good.. Kinda like a heating pad.



Stay Tuned
~Body under construction :)

Feb 7 2016 ~ Leaving Canada, Journey Begins

Whoot Whoot, its travel day!

I have been waiting for this day for so long, and it has arrived.
Next time I will be on Canadian soil, I would have left part of me in Mexico.
That's a weird thought. As much as I am completely confident in my choice, it is still a very new idea for me to have surgery out of country. I know, through travelling, as well as research and documentaries, that the option was always open to me, and there are amazing surgeons throughout the world but to be on the journey is somewhat uneasy. With any surgery there is always a risk, there is always the unknown, and if something were to go wrong would Chris know what to do.

I have prepared all I can, my will is updated, I've had discussions with family and friends, and have everything in order just in case, which is also really hard to do. But necessary. It kind of made me feel silly really that I hadn't done this before to prepare, and makes me question myself as to why I thought it more important now. The reality is that I should have had my affairs in order many years ago. After losing Adam I should have known to do this. Also, I think here in Canada we know what to expect if something goes wrong in surgery, we know you are in Canada's care system, and they will look after you, but away....its just unknown. But all that being said, again, I am completely confident and know everything will work out fine.

A couple of tips I wanted to share:
~Mr. Noodles, I had to buy some for my dad to have while I was away, so I emptied a few packs in a ziplock bag, and took out the soup packets. I will take them with me as well as the Bouillon for some different choices for broth flavors.
~I was told from a friend on my support group to actually travel with a premier protein drink, and let the security at airport know that this is all I can consume right now going for surgery. Apparently some got through with it, so we shall see...Ill keep you posted.

I must say that approaching this next few days I have been overwhelmed with the love and support in my life. I always knew that my friends and family were the best, but it really is a testament to mankind. That there really are people out there that care, that love you unconditionally, and I am so privileged to have all of you as friends. I really have surrounded myself with the most amazing group of people. Putting yourself out there, opening a full book of thoughts, feelings, and truths is a scary thing, and I am sure the people that are not close to me may have things to say about it, but I have been shown In the last month that people in my life are brilliant and that is what matters, and warms my heart.
I am so grateful for the conversations I have had with some of you, so at ease with the questions you have asked, the visits you have made, or calls I have received. It truly has calmed me, made me know that people have my back, I can be vulnerable and ask for support if needed. I always knew I had the best friends and family in the world, but I truly feel it to my core. So thank you for allowing me into your lives, and being such a huge part of mine. xox

One question I always get is what is your GOAL WEIGHT. Its a funny question, I mean it seems like such a normal question that should have a normal answer, however I don't know. I honestly never set out on tis journey for cosmetic reasons, or for body image reasons. I have always been pretty confident in myself at any weight, and only wish to be healthy. I also find that for  me, just me, the minute I put a # on how much I want to lose, the pressure will start, and I will undoubtedly start to self sabotage myself. I know crazy right, but that is just in my make up. I will be hard on myself for each pound I don't lose getting closer to 'my goal' or beat myself up for each stall in weight loss, or heaven forbid a gain. I know I have done all the research I can to best succeed, and I know there will be stalls and be gains, as my body is trying to figure this out as well. Those are the times I need support, and the last thing I need is a 'goal' that I am failing at on top of that. Really I am setting my goals to NOT be a Diabetic anymore, to eliminate the amount of pills I am on, to walk a flight of stairs without huffing, to go on an amusement ride, to go scuba diving, a helicopter ride, drive without my stomach hitting the steering wheel, but mostly to be healthy. That is my goal, and really each day thus far I have made my goal. How great is it that each single day I achieve a goal, instead of one goal at the end, I have so many goals each day is a victory. Each day I get one step closer to being on the outside as I feel on the inside.
Its Fabulous, and I cant wait to see what tomorrow has to offer.

Anyways, I am all packed and just finishing up the last few things before heading to the airport. I will try to write in the next few days before I head to Mexico. In San Diego we have lost planned so I am excited to relax, and spend some quality time with my hubby. See you on the flip side.
Love to you all~ Nat xox


Stay Tuned
Body Under Construction~ Nat :)

FEB 6 2016 Leaving tomorrow

FEB 6 2016

The time has come.
Tomorrow I leave.
Like actually start the last leg of my journey to the newer me. It seems so unreal, as I have waited for so long, so loooong. Its kind of emotional thinking of how long I have waited and in a few days I will have a massive change in my life.

I dreaded this point of the journey, the no eating, the mood swings, the feeling that come along with this, however I am doing just fine. I have followed the eating plan, and stayed focused on what I needed to do to get to this place.

I am so excited and so nervous all at the same time.
It have been a rough week, not gonna lie. It has been extremely challenging but the time is here, and I can not wait to meet Dr. Z!

*Please note I would normally write a lot more, but mentally I'm exhausted and physically I am so low on food that my body aches. This too will pass.

Stay Tuned
Body Under Construction~ Nat :)

FEBRUARY 5 2016

FEBRUARY 5th

This is so real now. In a 2 days I am setting off to another country for a life changing surgery, and am so excited and scared all at the same time. This last few days have been rough, not gonna lie. It has been hard for me to get up the energy to write.

I am quite weak, not eating much at all, and have had some dizzy spells, and have stopped driving on the advise of my Doctor, as my sugars are very low so I need to be quite careful.

On a positive note I am getting so excited about the process. I am quite pleased with how well I have already done. My body is thriving and I am starting to notice my body changing which is very cool.


Stay Tuned
Body Under Construction~ Nat :)

JANUARY 2016

January 2016  Pre-op  Last week of Christmas, I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted, and December  31 2015, went out with a bang. I gave myself 1 night, 1 night to eat, drink, and enjoy all that I craved or yearned for.

BE PREPARED
The week between Christmas and New Years I did a lot of prep-work. I took the turkey and made a huge batch of soup, did all my shopping and feel somewhat prepared for my journey to start.
Here was my shopping & To Do List:
*Clean out everything from house I will not be able to eat (except for things Chris will eat). Give to food banks, friends, family etc.
*2oz containers for food prep (as this is all you can consume at 1 time).
*Water Bottles

*Blender Ready on counter

*Premier Protein Drinks~ Costco (need 25g protein or more).

*Lean Fit Protein Shake mix~ Costco (need 25g protein or more).

*B12 Liquid form~ Health food store

*Multivitamin Liquid or Chew (I got chewable Vitafusion from Costco)
*Vitamin C Liquid or chew (I got chewable Vitafusion from Costco)
*Biotin hair and nails ~ Health food store (side affect is hair loss)

*Omeprazole 20 mg every 12 hours (side affect is gas pains)

*Omega 3 Jamison Chews
*Vitamin D Chews

*Zink 100mg

*Water

*Gatorade 2 (protein)
*Flavorless Protein Power to add to drinks ~ Health Food store
*Prep Chicken (Protein) for Pre op diet
*SF Jello / Pudding
*SF Popsicles
*Scale for measuring Proteins.

 Pre-Op Diet (for me, you will get your own tailored to you):

Breakfast: Protein Shake
Lunch: Protein Shake + Boiled egg
Dinner: Protein + Salad or veg
Water consumption: 2 litres a day

 JANUARY 1 2016

Last night, was a fabulous night of reflection. Spending time with the ones I love and the last night of eating some yummy foods. We had appies, drinks and lots of goodies. Its weird when you think about not drinking again, I mean I was never a big drinker, but the idea that for 6 months a drink of alcohol could burst my stomach (could disrupt staples) is kinda weirdly odd. I get it, and know that the body will absorb at a record speed, and I would be drunk after a few sips, but the idea it could run havoc on your inners..is daunting. Regardless, not going to be a big deals for me. Pop on the other hand is going to be a challenge. I have really been quite shockingly good, with only getting Chris to pick me up the odd Coke Zero but to know I can not touch it again is scary. I think its is the idea of all your go-to foods/drinks being taken away that messes with your mind. Before when I was stressed or emotional and I could say F-It and turn to those foods or drinks, but now its so final, such a grieving process, and a complete elimination from your life. A Permanent change. AGAIN, I'm a FOOD ADDICT, and this fight is real. There is NO easy way out, and this will be the hardest thing I have ever done, and I have yet to start. I struggled this afternoon, almost like on the movies when you see a drug addict tearing open drawers, looking in the hiding spots looking for a ht. This was literally me today in the kitchen, looking for that last fix of food I can no longer eat. I had pop, and chocolate and bread....yes...bread! It was embarrassing when I stopped and thought about what I was doing. I was so scared of never eating these things, that I gorged myself. I was indeed sick.

Tomorrow I start my Pre-op Journey. Tomorrow is the first step and healing me, physically, mentally and emotionally.

 

 

JANUARY 2 2016 ***********PRE-OP BEGINS*************

In a way it was good that I had a shift today to distract me, but lets be serious. Today all I did was think about food. I got up this morning and had 1 simple shake with lean fit whey powder. I drank a record amount of water this morning, but by lunch time at work I was starving. For lunch I had 1 chocolate Premier Protein shake, and some veggies and 2 slices of cheese. Drank record amounts of water again before my shift was over. Also good to note I spent record amounts of visits to the restroom. As soon as I got home, I took Bailey for my 1/2 hr walk, and then it was me on my own. I tried to stay very busy, to talk to friends, go online, watch TV. I had to re-position myself in the LR so I didn't face the kitchen. I was starving. So hungry, that Bailey looked good. I talked it through with a friend~ Laura which was both a good experience and not. She decided from the time I told her I was doing this that she would do it with me, for herself but also support. Not the surgery but the eating. It was nice to chat with someone who could relate and be experiencing the same belly hunger pains. Once my hubby was home we had Pork and Veggies. I'm quite impressed with how well I did today. I mean I was a bitch, so hungry and miserable, BUT I did it.
*1/2 hr walk complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  735

 

 

JANUARY 3 2016

*In the middle of the night I awoke with a Migraine. I checked with some people on my support group and this is common when drastically changing your calorie intake. Also when I got up this morning I was light headed. I'm worried about dehydration so I started drinking water right away. Both slowly passed as the morning went on.  1/2 hr walk with dog.
Breakfast: Banana strawberry smoothie. Protein Powder
Water.
Lunch: Boiled egg and Vanilla Protein Shake
Water.
Dinner: chicken wings & salad
(popcorn/no butter)
*1/2 hr walk complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  853

JANUARY 4 2016

*In the middle of the night woke up with a migraine. When up this morning I was light headed. Today I felt less hungry. 1/2 hr walk with dog. I am finding I am able to get to sleep a lot quicker, and sleep through the night which is pretty great. Although I am waking up light-headed I am still feeling a lot more energy throughout the day. My body sort of feels clean inside if that makes sense. I am really not having an issues drinking my water which was a big hesitation for me, but my body is craving it so I am going with it. I am trying to practice my chewing with each bite. This chewing each bite is so hard but today for the first time I achieved chewing it for as long as I need to, so lets hope this is finally a trend I can turn into a normal action. Once the surgery happens and you get to the point of eating food again, you have to chew such small bites, many many times. So practice practice practice with each bite. Its harder than it sounds. All around I am feeling good today!
Breakfast: Vanilla Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: 2 Boiled eggs + Protein Shake
Water.
Dinner: 3 oz of rib eye, steamed broccoli, 6 shrimp
*Waterfit class, stretch, and swimming complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  721

JANUARY 5 2016

*Today I was hungry again, and woke up light headed again. At work all the smells from the lunch room drift through the vents into my small office. Let me tell you the torture. I used to get the growling stomach, but now it is complete torture. A couple of BIG things happened today. 1st I talked to my boss about the surgery and he was very supportive, very kind and it felt really good to have him understand and also be interested in the process I am going through. He was concerned about the lack of calories I am consuming in relation to my Diabetes, and feeling faint. Absolutely he has the right to worry, as I can not predict how I will react as this is a new process for me as well. But I will check myself a lot during this month, make sure I am safe, and if I feel faint will look after myself. It all showed that he cared for my well-being and that was all I was hoping for.
The second thing that happened was my friend Laura let me know she was going to do this with me, to support me, to eat what I eat not only to gain from the health benefits of this but also to support. It hit me today how important that is. How amazing she is to walk this journey with me, to pep me up, to hold my head up, to remind me why I am doing this, and also just to be there to talk to. Talk things out, drink our shakes together, and communicate on how the process is, the good the bad and the ugly. Its amazing that I have such a brilliant person in my life, and I cant wait for out transformation. Our Little Black dress moment.
Breakfast: Vanilla Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: 1 Boiled egg + veggies + Premier Protein Shake
Water.
Dinner: 3oz Chicken Breast stuffed with Asparagus and soft cheese. Steamed broccoli.
1/2 hr walk complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  832

JANUARY 6 2016

*One thing I realised today was that after eating lunch I am not weighed down, exhausted and done for the day counting the minutes I get to go home and rest. I was full of energy, and started thinking about this last week, and its true my energy has gone up in one way. Weird really, I mean I am barley consuming enough food to survive and should be exhausted but I am full of energy. I'm liking this new me. The protein and lack of carbs is the key to that. I really believe that the protein is vamping up my metabolism. Its great, and I'm gonna go with that for now.
Breakfast: Vanilla Protein shake. Banana
Water.
Lunch: 1 Premier Protein Shake + Veggies
Water.
Dinner: Lettuce wrap soft taco (ground beef/tomatos/gr peppers/onion/cheese) +Salad.
*Waterfit class, stretch, and swimming complete. +1/2 hr walk.
*Calorie Consumption:  785
*For the first time in my life these words actually came out of my mouth. " What do I do when my work out burned more calories than I consumed"? I went to the pool and took and hr waterfit class (burned 655 calories + Swimming 250 calories + 1.2 hr walk 164) Burned Calories: 1069. Should I keep eating? Let nature take its course. I'm not hungry so I will let it be today and see what happens on the scale.

JANUARY 7 2016

*My dog is loving this new walking me. I like it to, its nice to get out into the crisp air and spend exercise time with Bailey. It is good for both of us. It is so hard to put the shoes on and go out the door. But once you do its perfect. I have the best location, there are hills, and flat, and stairs so I really push myself and get-er done. One day I will be able to do it with breathing so hard or hurting so much and that will be amazing. I look forward to the day I successfully walk all the way down to the bay and up again. It will be amazing.
Breakfast: Vanilla Lean Fit Protein shake w/strawberries
Water.
Lunch: 1 Chocolate Lean Fit Protein shake
Water.
Dinner: ground  beef/tomatos/gr peppers/onion/cheese +Salad.
1/2 hr walk complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  803

JANUARY 12 2016   ****1 Month Away****

1 month TODAY I will be having surgery. This journey already has been full of so many new things, new systems, new ways of thinking. I have come so far already, and am determined to continue moving forward. Some days it is just HARD. Some days you really want your stomach to shut the heck up. Today I was light headed, and felt dizzy. I took it easy at work, and just did what I could. I try not to be fixated on the scale, however I just cant believe how fast the scale is moving.
I have past the 50lbs mark, and am quite proud of myself for doing this, for getting direction, for making this change, and starting my new love affair with being healthy.
I find I question everything! I only put something in my mouth, once I have reviewed what else I ate that day, if it has protein, and will it help the process. Its quite the new way of thinking, but I'm starting to get it. Starting to understand what I put in my body and being aware of how it makes my body react. Its quite amazing actually; understanding and being aware of your body. I don't think I ever paid attention to how my body reacts to food before, to feel the affects from food. I'm enjoying this.
Breakfast: Vanilla Lean Fit Protein shake w/strawberries + Pineapple Juice
Water.
Lunch: 1 Chocolate Lean Fit Protein shake
Water.
Dinner: Honey Garlic Pork + Bok Choy
*Calorie Consumption:  682

JANUARY   14  2016  

This photo above perfectly represents how I am feeling at this moment. One second I'm starving, moody, and have self doubt, the next moment I am confident, caring for myself, and dealing the best I can with the anxiety I have as I move forward into the new person I am and will become physically and mentally.
Vent Moment: You know, for years I use to get so frustrated when I saw people on TV weight-loss shows say you just gotta eat right, and work out, and whaaaa-laa you will be thin, and healthy. What a load of crap. I call BS on miracle weight loss, and if I had 6 hrs to work out a day or unlimited $ to spend on all the good foods in the world, yeah it may be easier. But the reality is I am a normal human being trying to navigate through this complicated healthy eating fight I'm up against. The comment that gets under my skin is: when your ready your ready. If I waited until I was ready I would stay fat forever. The deal is at some point you have to check yourself, realise this is bigger than you can handle and put your foot done and do the hard work. It sucks...it soooo sucks, but the reward is worth the time and pain it takes. Right now it is a lot of work and little rewards, but let me tell you those little moments feel massive. You earned that pound lost. It drives me forward, makes me make the right choices, and each day I feel like I am re-inventing me, and my strengths. Am I ready....no, but I am choosing to do the work for what I want.
Breakfast: Vanilla Lean Fit Protein shake + Banana
Water.
Lunch: Vanilla Lean Fit Protein shake + strawberries
Water.
Dinner: Salad + 2 spring rolls
*Calorie Consumption:  689

JANUARY 17 2016

*Today I had the most fabulous night out with friends. Its important to do things that make you happy. That remind you that you are not alone. To have friends that have your back nomatter what, and support you through all the dark hours, but rejoice with you when you are succeeding. I am so lucky to have these people in my life, and to share a meal and great conversation with the ones that matter most. I may not see them daily, but when we do get to spend time together it just feel right. Not blood related but defiantly family.
Breakfast: Vanilla Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: 3 oz of Chicken and Lettuce
Water.
Dinner: 3 oz of braised ribs + water
Snack: Popcorn
*1/2hr walk
*Calorie Consumption:  825

JANUARY 23 2016Here are some examples of some of the food choices I am making in additions to my Morning and afternoon Protein Shakes! Its funny that I miss Carbs so much, and yet don't miss the way they made my body feel. I am really aware of my body, what goes in and how it feels. My cravings are different then in the past. I look forward to really cold water instead of pop, I am loving dill pickles instead of chips, and the biggest thing is loving veggies over bread and potato's....Don't get me wrong, its hard...very hard daily to make the right decision, but once I make it, and eat the better choices I feel so good. The scale is moving still and I am so excited about the future. 3 weeks until surgery and 1 week left of work. I am finding myself getting dizzy, and having less muscle mass, which makes me weak. I'm not eating a lot of calories and find it really affects my concentration and I'm exhausted. I am glad I decided to take the week off work before I leave. It was a smart choice.

Breakfast: Bacon & 2 eggs white w/pesto & cheese
Water.
Lunch: 3 oz of Chicken, onion, tomato in Lettuce wraps with a dill pickle
Water.
Di.nner: 3oz Steak w/ mushrooms, and steamed red cabbage
took a day off shakes and exercise. Needed a break
*Calorie Consumption: 958
*****STOPPED EATING BANANAS*******
***too many Carbs and it was throwing my sugars off.

JANUARY 28 2016

***** 2 WEEKS ***** tomorrow is my surgery. Gosh that came fast, and yet took way to long. I must admit I am starting to get nervous the last few days. Have not slept good, a little emotional, and feeling a bit of anxiety. Not concerned about the surgery per say but the process. Worrying about travelling sore, about feeling mentally hungry, about doing this without meds as I am allergic to everything. So Surgery will be done with no pain killers. I have done it before and not a fan. Thank goodness I have a big pain tolerance.
Today went for lunch with a friend and it was so nice. I really enjoyed the time out, the distraction, and great conversation. Went to Cobblestone pub and ran into an old friend who waited on us. So a great day.
Tomorrow is my last work day which couldn't come soon enough. This last 2 weeks esp. have been a struggle at work. Been dizzy, not able to focus, slow moving and hungry. My sugars do not like eating so little and have struggled balancing getting enough food for my low sugar levels and keeping within my pre-op diet.
Breakfast: Chocolate Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: Grilled Chicken Caesar Wrap w/squash soup (only ate 1/2 wrap)
Water.
Dinner: Vanilla Shake + water
*1/2hr walk
*Calorie Consumption:  713

JANUARY 31 2016

LAST DAY OF JANUARY.
Tomorrow is the first day of FEBRUARY, the month where my life changes forever, where I choose to be the best version of myself, and gain control of a eating lifestyle I let get so out of control. This will be the best February I have ever had!
Breakfast: Chocolate Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: Vanilla Protein Shake
Water.
Dinner: 3 oz of Chicken + Cauliflower
*1/2hr walk
*Calorie Consumption:  600
OCTOBER 2015 - PRESENT TOTAL LOST: 50.5lbs

Stay Tuned

Under Construction~ Nat :)