Next time I will be on Canadian soil, I would have left part of me in Mexico.
That's a weird thought. As much as I am completely confident in my choice, it is still a very new idea for me to have surgery out of country. I know, through travelling, as well as research and documentaries, that the option was always open to me, and there are amazing surgeons throughout the world but to be on the journey is somewhat uneasy. With any surgery there is always a risk, there is always the unknown, and if something were to go wrong would Chris know what to do.
I have prepared all I can, my will is updated, I've had discussions with family and friends, and have everything in order just in case, which is also really hard to do. But necessary. It kind of made me feel silly really that I hadn't done this before to prepare, and makes me question myself as to why I thought it more important now. The reality is that I should have had my affairs in order many years ago. After losing Adam I should have known to do this. Also, I think here in Canada we know what to expect if something goes wrong in surgery, we know you are in Canada's care system, and they will look after you, but away....its just unknown. But all that being said, again, I am completely confident and know everything will work out fine.
A couple of tips I wanted to share:
~Mr. Noodles, I had to buy some for my dad to have while I was away, so I emptied a few packs in a ziplock bag, and took out the soup packets. I will take them with me as well as the Bouillon for some different choices for broth flavors.
~I was told from a friend on my support group to actually travel with a premier protein drink, and let the security at airport know that this is all I can consume right now going for surgery. Apparently some got through with it, so we shall see...Ill keep you posted.
I must say that approaching this next few days I have been overwhelmed with the love and support in my life. I always knew that my friends and family were the best, but it really is a testament to mankind. That there really are people out there that care, that love you unconditionally, and I am so privileged to have all of you as friends. I really have surrounded myself with the most amazing group of people. Putting yourself out there, opening a full book of thoughts, feelings, and truths is a scary thing, and I am sure the people that are not close to me may have things to say about it, but I have been shown In the last month that people in my life are brilliant and that is what matters, and warms my heart.
I am so grateful for the conversations I have had with some of you, so at ease with the questions you have asked, the visits you have made, or calls I have received. It truly has calmed me, made me know that people have my back, I can be vulnerable and ask for support if needed. I always knew I had the best friends and family in the world, but I truly feel it to my core. So thank you for allowing me into your lives, and being such a huge part of mine. xox
One question I always get is what is your GOAL WEIGHT. Its a funny question, I mean it seems like such a normal question that should have a normal answer, however I don't know. I honestly never set out on tis journey for cosmetic reasons, or for body image reasons. I have always been pretty confident in myself at any weight, and only wish to be healthy. I also find that for me, just me, the minute I put a # on how much I want to lose, the pressure will start, and I will undoubtedly start to self sabotage myself. I know crazy right, but that is just in my make up. I will be hard on myself for each pound I don't lose getting closer to 'my goal' or beat myself up for each stall in weight loss, or heaven forbid a gain. I know I have done all the research I can to best succeed, and I know there will be stalls and be gains, as my body is trying to figure this out as well. Those are the times I need support, and the last thing I need is a 'goal' that I am failing at on top of that. Really I am setting my goals to NOT be a Diabetic anymore, to eliminate the amount of pills I am on, to walk a flight of stairs without huffing, to go on an amusement ride, to go scuba diving, a helicopter ride, drive without my stomach hitting the steering wheel, but mostly to be healthy. That is my goal, and really each day thus far I have made my goal. How great is it that each single day I achieve a goal, instead of one goal at the end, I have so many goals each day is a victory. Each day I get one step closer to being on the outside as I feel on the inside.
Its Fabulous, and I cant wait to see what tomorrow has to offer.
Anyways, I am all packed and just finishing up the last few things before heading to the airport. I will try to write in the next few days before I head to Mexico. In San Diego we have lost planned so I am excited to relax, and spend some quality time with my hubby. See you on the flip side.
Love to you all~ Nat xox
Stay Tuned
Body Under Construction~ Nat :)
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