JANUARY 2016

January 2016  Pre-op  Last week of Christmas, I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted, and December  31 2015, went out with a bang. I gave myself 1 night, 1 night to eat, drink, and enjoy all that I craved or yearned for.

BE PREPARED
The week between Christmas and New Years I did a lot of prep-work. I took the turkey and made a huge batch of soup, did all my shopping and feel somewhat prepared for my journey to start.
Here was my shopping & To Do List:
*Clean out everything from house I will not be able to eat (except for things Chris will eat). Give to food banks, friends, family etc.
*2oz containers for food prep (as this is all you can consume at 1 time).
*Water Bottles

*Blender Ready on counter

*Premier Protein Drinks~ Costco (need 25g protein or more).

*Lean Fit Protein Shake mix~ Costco (need 25g protein or more).

*B12 Liquid form~ Health food store

*Multivitamin Liquid or Chew (I got chewable Vitafusion from Costco)
*Vitamin C Liquid or chew (I got chewable Vitafusion from Costco)
*Biotin hair and nails ~ Health food store (side affect is hair loss)

*Omeprazole 20 mg every 12 hours (side affect is gas pains)

*Omega 3 Jamison Chews
*Vitamin D Chews

*Zink 100mg

*Water

*Gatorade 2 (protein)
*Flavorless Protein Power to add to drinks ~ Health Food store
*Prep Chicken (Protein) for Pre op diet
*SF Jello / Pudding
*SF Popsicles
*Scale for measuring Proteins.

 Pre-Op Diet (for me, you will get your own tailored to you):

Breakfast: Protein Shake
Lunch: Protein Shake + Boiled egg
Dinner: Protein + Salad or veg
Water consumption: 2 litres a day

 JANUARY 1 2016

Last night, was a fabulous night of reflection. Spending time with the ones I love and the last night of eating some yummy foods. We had appies, drinks and lots of goodies. Its weird when you think about not drinking again, I mean I was never a big drinker, but the idea that for 6 months a drink of alcohol could burst my stomach (could disrupt staples) is kinda weirdly odd. I get it, and know that the body will absorb at a record speed, and I would be drunk after a few sips, but the idea it could run havoc on your inners..is daunting. Regardless, not going to be a big deals for me. Pop on the other hand is going to be a challenge. I have really been quite shockingly good, with only getting Chris to pick me up the odd Coke Zero but to know I can not touch it again is scary. I think its is the idea of all your go-to foods/drinks being taken away that messes with your mind. Before when I was stressed or emotional and I could say F-It and turn to those foods or drinks, but now its so final, such a grieving process, and a complete elimination from your life. A Permanent change. AGAIN, I'm a FOOD ADDICT, and this fight is real. There is NO easy way out, and this will be the hardest thing I have ever done, and I have yet to start. I struggled this afternoon, almost like on the movies when you see a drug addict tearing open drawers, looking in the hiding spots looking for a ht. This was literally me today in the kitchen, looking for that last fix of food I can no longer eat. I had pop, and chocolate and bread....yes...bread! It was embarrassing when I stopped and thought about what I was doing. I was so scared of never eating these things, that I gorged myself. I was indeed sick.

Tomorrow I start my Pre-op Journey. Tomorrow is the first step and healing me, physically, mentally and emotionally.

 

 

JANUARY 2 2016 ***********PRE-OP BEGINS*************

In a way it was good that I had a shift today to distract me, but lets be serious. Today all I did was think about food. I got up this morning and had 1 simple shake with lean fit whey powder. I drank a record amount of water this morning, but by lunch time at work I was starving. For lunch I had 1 chocolate Premier Protein shake, and some veggies and 2 slices of cheese. Drank record amounts of water again before my shift was over. Also good to note I spent record amounts of visits to the restroom. As soon as I got home, I took Bailey for my 1/2 hr walk, and then it was me on my own. I tried to stay very busy, to talk to friends, go online, watch TV. I had to re-position myself in the LR so I didn't face the kitchen. I was starving. So hungry, that Bailey looked good. I talked it through with a friend~ Laura which was both a good experience and not. She decided from the time I told her I was doing this that she would do it with me, for herself but also support. Not the surgery but the eating. It was nice to chat with someone who could relate and be experiencing the same belly hunger pains. Once my hubby was home we had Pork and Veggies. I'm quite impressed with how well I did today. I mean I was a bitch, so hungry and miserable, BUT I did it.
*1/2 hr walk complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  735

 

 

JANUARY 3 2016

*In the middle of the night I awoke with a Migraine. I checked with some people on my support group and this is common when drastically changing your calorie intake. Also when I got up this morning I was light headed. I'm worried about dehydration so I started drinking water right away. Both slowly passed as the morning went on.  1/2 hr walk with dog.
Breakfast: Banana strawberry smoothie. Protein Powder
Water.
Lunch: Boiled egg and Vanilla Protein Shake
Water.
Dinner: chicken wings & salad
(popcorn/no butter)
*1/2 hr walk complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  853

JANUARY 4 2016

*In the middle of the night woke up with a migraine. When up this morning I was light headed. Today I felt less hungry. 1/2 hr walk with dog. I am finding I am able to get to sleep a lot quicker, and sleep through the night which is pretty great. Although I am waking up light-headed I am still feeling a lot more energy throughout the day. My body sort of feels clean inside if that makes sense. I am really not having an issues drinking my water which was a big hesitation for me, but my body is craving it so I am going with it. I am trying to practice my chewing with each bite. This chewing each bite is so hard but today for the first time I achieved chewing it for as long as I need to, so lets hope this is finally a trend I can turn into a normal action. Once the surgery happens and you get to the point of eating food again, you have to chew such small bites, many many times. So practice practice practice with each bite. Its harder than it sounds. All around I am feeling good today!
Breakfast: Vanilla Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: 2 Boiled eggs + Protein Shake
Water.
Dinner: 3 oz of rib eye, steamed broccoli, 6 shrimp
*Waterfit class, stretch, and swimming complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  721

JANUARY 5 2016

*Today I was hungry again, and woke up light headed again. At work all the smells from the lunch room drift through the vents into my small office. Let me tell you the torture. I used to get the growling stomach, but now it is complete torture. A couple of BIG things happened today. 1st I talked to my boss about the surgery and he was very supportive, very kind and it felt really good to have him understand and also be interested in the process I am going through. He was concerned about the lack of calories I am consuming in relation to my Diabetes, and feeling faint. Absolutely he has the right to worry, as I can not predict how I will react as this is a new process for me as well. But I will check myself a lot during this month, make sure I am safe, and if I feel faint will look after myself. It all showed that he cared for my well-being and that was all I was hoping for.
The second thing that happened was my friend Laura let me know she was going to do this with me, to support me, to eat what I eat not only to gain from the health benefits of this but also to support. It hit me today how important that is. How amazing she is to walk this journey with me, to pep me up, to hold my head up, to remind me why I am doing this, and also just to be there to talk to. Talk things out, drink our shakes together, and communicate on how the process is, the good the bad and the ugly. Its amazing that I have such a brilliant person in my life, and I cant wait for out transformation. Our Little Black dress moment.
Breakfast: Vanilla Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: 1 Boiled egg + veggies + Premier Protein Shake
Water.
Dinner: 3oz Chicken Breast stuffed with Asparagus and soft cheese. Steamed broccoli.
1/2 hr walk complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  832

JANUARY 6 2016

*One thing I realised today was that after eating lunch I am not weighed down, exhausted and done for the day counting the minutes I get to go home and rest. I was full of energy, and started thinking about this last week, and its true my energy has gone up in one way. Weird really, I mean I am barley consuming enough food to survive and should be exhausted but I am full of energy. I'm liking this new me. The protein and lack of carbs is the key to that. I really believe that the protein is vamping up my metabolism. Its great, and I'm gonna go with that for now.
Breakfast: Vanilla Protein shake. Banana
Water.
Lunch: 1 Premier Protein Shake + Veggies
Water.
Dinner: Lettuce wrap soft taco (ground beef/tomatos/gr peppers/onion/cheese) +Salad.
*Waterfit class, stretch, and swimming complete. +1/2 hr walk.
*Calorie Consumption:  785
*For the first time in my life these words actually came out of my mouth. " What do I do when my work out burned more calories than I consumed"? I went to the pool and took and hr waterfit class (burned 655 calories + Swimming 250 calories + 1.2 hr walk 164) Burned Calories: 1069. Should I keep eating? Let nature take its course. I'm not hungry so I will let it be today and see what happens on the scale.

JANUARY 7 2016

*My dog is loving this new walking me. I like it to, its nice to get out into the crisp air and spend exercise time with Bailey. It is good for both of us. It is so hard to put the shoes on and go out the door. But once you do its perfect. I have the best location, there are hills, and flat, and stairs so I really push myself and get-er done. One day I will be able to do it with breathing so hard or hurting so much and that will be amazing. I look forward to the day I successfully walk all the way down to the bay and up again. It will be amazing.
Breakfast: Vanilla Lean Fit Protein shake w/strawberries
Water.
Lunch: 1 Chocolate Lean Fit Protein shake
Water.
Dinner: ground  beef/tomatos/gr peppers/onion/cheese +Salad.
1/2 hr walk complete.
*Calorie Consumption:  803

JANUARY 12 2016   ****1 Month Away****

1 month TODAY I will be having surgery. This journey already has been full of so many new things, new systems, new ways of thinking. I have come so far already, and am determined to continue moving forward. Some days it is just HARD. Some days you really want your stomach to shut the heck up. Today I was light headed, and felt dizzy. I took it easy at work, and just did what I could. I try not to be fixated on the scale, however I just cant believe how fast the scale is moving.
I have past the 50lbs mark, and am quite proud of myself for doing this, for getting direction, for making this change, and starting my new love affair with being healthy.
I find I question everything! I only put something in my mouth, once I have reviewed what else I ate that day, if it has protein, and will it help the process. Its quite the new way of thinking, but I'm starting to get it. Starting to understand what I put in my body and being aware of how it makes my body react. Its quite amazing actually; understanding and being aware of your body. I don't think I ever paid attention to how my body reacts to food before, to feel the affects from food. I'm enjoying this.
Breakfast: Vanilla Lean Fit Protein shake w/strawberries + Pineapple Juice
Water.
Lunch: 1 Chocolate Lean Fit Protein shake
Water.
Dinner: Honey Garlic Pork + Bok Choy
*Calorie Consumption:  682

JANUARY   14  2016  

This photo above perfectly represents how I am feeling at this moment. One second I'm starving, moody, and have self doubt, the next moment I am confident, caring for myself, and dealing the best I can with the anxiety I have as I move forward into the new person I am and will become physically and mentally.
Vent Moment: You know, for years I use to get so frustrated when I saw people on TV weight-loss shows say you just gotta eat right, and work out, and whaaaa-laa you will be thin, and healthy. What a load of crap. I call BS on miracle weight loss, and if I had 6 hrs to work out a day or unlimited $ to spend on all the good foods in the world, yeah it may be easier. But the reality is I am a normal human being trying to navigate through this complicated healthy eating fight I'm up against. The comment that gets under my skin is: when your ready your ready. If I waited until I was ready I would stay fat forever. The deal is at some point you have to check yourself, realise this is bigger than you can handle and put your foot done and do the hard work. It sucks...it soooo sucks, but the reward is worth the time and pain it takes. Right now it is a lot of work and little rewards, but let me tell you those little moments feel massive. You earned that pound lost. It drives me forward, makes me make the right choices, and each day I feel like I am re-inventing me, and my strengths. Am I ready....no, but I am choosing to do the work for what I want.
Breakfast: Vanilla Lean Fit Protein shake + Banana
Water.
Lunch: Vanilla Lean Fit Protein shake + strawberries
Water.
Dinner: Salad + 2 spring rolls
*Calorie Consumption:  689

JANUARY 17 2016

*Today I had the most fabulous night out with friends. Its important to do things that make you happy. That remind you that you are not alone. To have friends that have your back nomatter what, and support you through all the dark hours, but rejoice with you when you are succeeding. I am so lucky to have these people in my life, and to share a meal and great conversation with the ones that matter most. I may not see them daily, but when we do get to spend time together it just feel right. Not blood related but defiantly family.
Breakfast: Vanilla Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: 3 oz of Chicken and Lettuce
Water.
Dinner: 3 oz of braised ribs + water
Snack: Popcorn
*1/2hr walk
*Calorie Consumption:  825

JANUARY 23 2016Here are some examples of some of the food choices I am making in additions to my Morning and afternoon Protein Shakes! Its funny that I miss Carbs so much, and yet don't miss the way they made my body feel. I am really aware of my body, what goes in and how it feels. My cravings are different then in the past. I look forward to really cold water instead of pop, I am loving dill pickles instead of chips, and the biggest thing is loving veggies over bread and potato's....Don't get me wrong, its hard...very hard daily to make the right decision, but once I make it, and eat the better choices I feel so good. The scale is moving still and I am so excited about the future. 3 weeks until surgery and 1 week left of work. I am finding myself getting dizzy, and having less muscle mass, which makes me weak. I'm not eating a lot of calories and find it really affects my concentration and I'm exhausted. I am glad I decided to take the week off work before I leave. It was a smart choice.

Breakfast: Bacon & 2 eggs white w/pesto & cheese
Water.
Lunch: 3 oz of Chicken, onion, tomato in Lettuce wraps with a dill pickle
Water.
Di.nner: 3oz Steak w/ mushrooms, and steamed red cabbage
took a day off shakes and exercise. Needed a break
*Calorie Consumption: 958
*****STOPPED EATING BANANAS*******
***too many Carbs and it was throwing my sugars off.

JANUARY 28 2016

***** 2 WEEKS ***** tomorrow is my surgery. Gosh that came fast, and yet took way to long. I must admit I am starting to get nervous the last few days. Have not slept good, a little emotional, and feeling a bit of anxiety. Not concerned about the surgery per say but the process. Worrying about travelling sore, about feeling mentally hungry, about doing this without meds as I am allergic to everything. So Surgery will be done with no pain killers. I have done it before and not a fan. Thank goodness I have a big pain tolerance.
Today went for lunch with a friend and it was so nice. I really enjoyed the time out, the distraction, and great conversation. Went to Cobblestone pub and ran into an old friend who waited on us. So a great day.
Tomorrow is my last work day which couldn't come soon enough. This last 2 weeks esp. have been a struggle at work. Been dizzy, not able to focus, slow moving and hungry. My sugars do not like eating so little and have struggled balancing getting enough food for my low sugar levels and keeping within my pre-op diet.
Breakfast: Chocolate Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: Grilled Chicken Caesar Wrap w/squash soup (only ate 1/2 wrap)
Water.
Dinner: Vanilla Shake + water
*1/2hr walk
*Calorie Consumption:  713

JANUARY 31 2016

LAST DAY OF JANUARY.
Tomorrow is the first day of FEBRUARY, the month where my life changes forever, where I choose to be the best version of myself, and gain control of a eating lifestyle I let get so out of control. This will be the best February I have ever had!
Breakfast: Chocolate Protein shake.
Water.
Lunch: Vanilla Protein Shake
Water.
Dinner: 3 oz of Chicken + Cauliflower
*1/2hr walk
*Calorie Consumption:  600
OCTOBER 2015 - PRESENT TOTAL LOST: 50.5lbs

Stay Tuned

Under Construction~ Nat :)